


Mr... Crane?

by 3L1J4H_D3NN0



Category: Ni no Kuni II: Revenant Kingdom (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - School, And Lofty is hinted at, Batu is mentioned exactly once, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Evan Tani Leander and Bracken are in the same class, Gen, Roland's appearance is fairly brief, They're all sixteen in this, This is gonna be somewhat cursed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:02:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21902683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3L1J4H_D3NN0/pseuds/3L1J4H_D3NN0
Summary: Mr Crane is absent for a while, for no explained reason, but who exactly is his cover teacher? And what is he hiding?
Kudos: 20





	Mr... Crane?

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the nnksecretsanta exchange event thing on Tumblr. Merry Christmas tenacioustimelord, enjoy your cursed.

"Good morning, class." Roland Crane, the class tutor of 12C, looked over his students. Most of them looked like they didn't want to be there. Well, _he_ didn't either.

There was an empty seat, as usual. Tani consistently arrived exactly ten minutes late for the sole purpose of being irritating, and it rarely worked.

He sighed, before returning to the rest of his class. "I have an announcement. I'm going to be off work for a while, so you'll have a cover teacher until I return."

There was a quiet murmuring among the students but it seemed no-one particularly cared.

"Well, anyway, back to regular things. I set you all an assignment-"

But at point, Tani decided to show up, kicking the door rather than trying to open it politely. Polite wasn't in Tani's vocabulary, though there wasn't a whole lot in it anyway.

"Hey, Mr Crane!" she called with a mock salute as she made her way to her seat, shoving a few tables for no reason other than to be annoying.

"Tani," Roland responded. "What were you up to this time?"

"Doing drugs." And then when that didn't get a response, "Kidding. Obviously."

"Right, well, just sit down."

Tani slumped into her seat beside Evan, a shy, timid boy, who visibly shuffled his seat a few centimetres away from the much louder, more confident girl.

Soon after, the bell rang, signalling the start of the kids' next lesson.

"Okay," Roland said, scratching the back of his head, "I'll just leave that assignment for another time."

* * *

Bracken Meadows awoke with a loud yawn. Ah, another day of school, another day seeing her teacher - wait.

Today she wouldn't see Mr Crane. She'd get to meet their cover teacher instead!

She bounced out of bed, forgetting to straighten out the duvet again, and went over to her mirror. She brushed her hair and straightened her goggles - yes, she wore them everywhere, including in bed - and rushed downstairs to eat breakfast.

When she arrived at her classroom, she was a little surprised to see a rather familiar face at the front of the room.

"Mr Crane?" she mumbled, though he didn't hear her. Though, as she looked at the man again, she realised he couldn't be Mr Crane. He didn't have a ponytail.

Bracken shrugged, and went to sit down at her desk next to her good friend, Leander.

"Morning, Ander," she greeted cheerily.

"Good morning," he replied, adjusting his glasses.

"Excited about the new teacher?"

"I suppose. He doesn't seem too interested in us, though."

"What do you mean?"

"He's not said a word since he arrived."

"Huh." Bracken glanced back towards the mystery cover teacher. "Maybe he's just waiting for everyone."

"He might've said _something_ , though," Leander said, a little put out.

The door opened again, as a couple other students filed into the classroom, before they were barged out of the way by Tani, who was surprisingly early today.

The minute the last seat was filled, the teacher stood up, and announced in a deep voice, "Good morning, children. My name is Mr Crane."

The class was silent. This... wasn't Mr Crane, was it? Sure, his face looked pretty similar, but there was no ponytail to go with it. No ponytail, no Mr Crane.

"Now, you may be a little confused, but I'll explain. The Mr Crane you know is my twin brother. I am Doloran Crane!"

He raised his arms as if he were a villain revealing himself to the heroes.

"Mr Crane has a twin?" Bracken whispered. "I hadn't thought of that before."

"There's no reason you should have," Leander replied.

"Yes, actually, I have theories about everyone, yet I'd never considered Mr Crane having siblings."

Leander gave her a weird look, like he was concerned or something, but she ignored it.

"Now, I'd like to get to know you, children," Doloran Crane spoke again.

Bracken raised her hand. "I can tell you about everyone!"

Doloran chuckled. "Yes, well, thank you, but I meant individ-"

"My name's Bracken Meadows, I'm sixteen and a half years old, my best trait is that everyone likes me, I like building computers and stuff, also, my hair isn't really pink, it's just dye, so-"

"Bracken-" Leander began.

"-and this is Leander. He's my best friend. He's very good at maths, and he likes to think he's the smartest person here, but I always beat him in exams, he's probably got a wall in his house lined with glasses, cause he keeps breaking them.

Pointing at Evan, she continued, "That's Evan, he's super quiet, and he's the smallest in our class by at least five centimetres." Evan flushed a bright red in embarrassment and shrunk into his seat. "I think he'd look good with one of those cat ear headband things little kids sometimes wear." Evan slid further down his seat, staring firmly at the desk in front of him.

Moving on, Bracken said, "And the one next to him is Tani. She's the one who breaks all the rules, she's had more detentions than the rest of us put together. I think she's part of a gang, her dad looks like a gangster."

Bracken continued this for the rest of the class, and all the while, Doloran listened, his expression unreadable.

* * *

The next day, Leander arrived at class before anyone, even Mr Crane - Mr Doloran Crane, that is.

Being punctual was good for spirit, his mother always told him, though that didn't make much sense. He still tried to be everywhere on time, all the same.

The second to enter was Evan, another early riser, always one for following the rules, too.

He sat down, barely making a sound, and did not so much as look at Leander.

For the second day in a row, Tani decided to actually come on time, or, more accurately, early. She stomped in with the usual cheeky grin, and took her place beside Evan.

"Alright, Evan?" the girl asked, too loud for the boy in question.

"Um, y-yes," he replied, still looking down.

"What's new at your place, then?" Tani asked, seeming genuinely interested in this shy, quiet, almost invisible boy's life.

"U-uh, my parents got me a pet," he said timidly.

"Wow, cool, got any pictures?"

"Y-yes." Evan took his phone from his bag and showed Tani. Leander peered at the small screen from his own desk, but he didn't think he could see it properly. It looked like some tiny red and yellow thing with a spiky head, but that didn't fit the description of any animal he'd ever heard of. Must just be his bad eyesight...

"What the heck is that?!" Tani shouted, somewhat confirming Leander's view. She sounded more excited than alarmed, but definitely like what was in the picture shouldn't exist.

"Ah, well, he's actually a-" But Evan was cut off by the classroom door swinging open so fast it smacked into the wall behind it. The blond boy flinched and all three looked up at the doorway.

Bracken bounded in, out of breath, like she'd just run all the way to school. "Guys, guys, it's insane! Check out what I found!"

Leander stood and walked over to her, placing a hand on each of her shoulders. "Bracken, what is it? Are you alright?"

"Me? Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." Bracken took some deep breaths before continuing. "But I found something crazy!"

"What'd ya find?" Tani called from where she was leaning back in her chair, dangerously close to tipping backwards.

"Well, I was doing some research on this Doloran Crane guy-"

"You were researching our teacher?!" Leander exclaimed. "Whatever for?!"

Bracken grinned. "He looked like he was hiding something."

"Like what? What's a guy like him got to hide?" Tani questioned.

"Please. Any twenty-something-year-old who's still dyeing his hair silver's gotta be an absolute weirdo."

"You're one to talk, Pinky."

Bracken furrowed her brows, looking at Tani like she was stupid. "I'm not twenty-something."

"Well, continue," Leander interrupted, noticing the tangent this argument was on.

"Right, so, anyway, I did some digging, and found _this_."

Bracken pulled out her phone, and showed them the screen. The others, even Evan, leaned in to see. It was the main page of a YouTube channel, one named 'Doloran_The_Fucking_Arcane'.

They looked up at Bracken's face. "Mr Crane's brother is... a youtuber?" Leander asked, not sure what the big deal was. Sure, it was kind of funny, but Bracken made it out like it was the most incredible discovery she'd ever made.

"His name has a swear word in it, though!" Evan squeaked, blushing a little.

"Oh, come on, you've never read the word 'fucking'?" Tani teased, only for Evan to duck his head in embarrassment.

"But you guys," Bracken brought their attention back to her. "He's not just a _youtuber_. He's a vlogger!"

"So...?"

"So, he does loads of weird shit, like those blind drawing challenges and ice bucket things. He's even done the frickin' Chapstick challenge with one of his friends!"

"What? Seriously?"

"Yeah!" Bracken scrolled though the most popular videos, letting the others see them.

"Wow," Evan breathed, reading the titles he could catch as they went by, "he's even painted his whole body green for a ten thousand subscriber special!"

"That's the other thing!" Bracken said. "He's got over six million subs now!"

"No way!" Tani exclaimed. "He's like a YouTube celebrity!"

Leander gently took Bracken's phone as she carried on ranting to Tani and Evan, and continued to scroll through the videos. Then he stopped.

"Leander?" Evan was the first to notice the bespectacled man's shocked expression. "What is it?"

"Mr Crane is a vlogger, like you said," he began. "And he's got one involving his family's Christmas celebrations."

"Family as in..."

"As in _the normal Mr Crane_."

"There's a video with Mr Crane in it?!" Tani jumped up. "What's he doing in it?"

"Should we watch it?" Bracken suggested, a wide grin on her face.

"I-is it okay to?" Evan asked, though he couldn't deny his curiousity.

"I'm sure it's fine," Leander reassured him, tapping his thumb on the play button. The other three gathered around him, expectantly.

"What're they doing?" Tani asked, appalled by their teachers' behaviour.

"Oh my goodness," Evan, the innocent and pure, was sure to be scarred by this mess of a vlog.

The camera was wobbling horribly, but they could make out both Mr Cranes, Roland and Doloran, drunkenly attempting to do handstands, and then knock each other over. Though they could barely stand up, and kept giggling.

It was terrifying. They'd never be able to see either of their teachers the same way after that.

"What the actual fu-" Tani was stopped by a shaky hand from Evan, even now uncomfortable with such obscene language.

"You know, I sort of regret watching that," Evan admitted.

"Yes, I'd have to agree with you on that," Leander said.

Bracken just burst out laughing, dropping to a random chair, cackling madly. "That was... the best thing... I ever saw!"

The four jumped reflexively as the door opened. They all recognised the silver hair now. Bracken stopped laughing immediately and they each sat back down in the correct seats.

"Good morning, children."

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't sure how cursed to go but I thought Doloran as a secondary school cover teacher and a YouTube vlogger was a safe bet.
> 
> Disclaimer: School teachers who double as YouTubers are badass legends.


End file.
